My parents have an amazing engagement story. They were in different continents, it was an arranged marriage, there were multiple misunderstandings, and both said no to each other at some point. Needless to say, this is a common dinner party story and it’s hilarious (my dad maintains that he never said no – he just said he ‘had to think about it’ and my mom thinks that might be worse).
In the same way, there are some super cool conversion stories out there – those magical moments of ‘and THEN this happened’. Think Paul on the road to Damascus-style. Those are truly exciting – wow, how cool to be able to know that God chose you so clearly and monumentally.
Sometimes I get confused cause I don’t know when my conversion was. I know when I got baptised, when I came back to living a Christ-like life, etc. But there are still so many times when I fall and get ‘re-converted’. And sometimes I feel like this messes up the timeline. How do I tell people when I got converted, if more stuff keeps coming up and I realise I didn’t take it as seriously as I should’ve? Was I not converted? Was I ‘half-way converted’? What is the story?!
The answer is – it doesn’t matter. You can only see a teeeeny-tiny part of your ‘story’. Why would you think that you yourself are able to tell it in a bigger way? You have no idea how the story goes. But God does. So why not stop worrying about the broader meaning behind your timeline and your story and just focus on doing what He tells you to do today? That way we are pressing further up and further in – so we get more light, so we come to more perfection. That’s the true conversion – God wants to change our nature so we become more like Him. Time is nothing to Him – the timeline is irrelevant. He wants us to be focused on what His will is and not trying to fit our story onto a timeline we think we have control over.